How to say “No, I don’t want to go out with you” gently?

It’s great when a man you like ask you out. It’s not so great, however, if you are not interested in this man. You have to choose carefully if you decline gently or if you tell him right front. A man can get upset if you don’t tell him right. I will show you how to decline to go out with a man, depending on types of man.

If you decline a man who is confident

Many men who have status, such as a president of a company or an executive, have confidence because they have more success with women. Therefore it’s better to decline those men gently, taking a lot of time, so that you won’t hurt his feeling.

Because confident men believes a woman will accept going out with him, he would be shocked to find out that you decline him. He might also get angry, saying “why don’t you go out with me?” Therefore it’s better not to decline him right away when he asks you out. You can say “I need some time to think”. Then decline his offer few days later.

Instead of declining lightly, you should show him that you appreciate his offer and give him some reasons why you can’t go out with him. You can say: “I am very happy that you asked me, but I have no time for boyfriend right now because I am busy at work” or “I am so glad that you like me, but I just broke up with my boyfriend so I am not ready for a new relationship.”

Because he is confident that you will go out with him so he might insist, but he will eventually move on if you keep telling him your feelings.

If you decline a shy and quiet man

Shy men who don’t usually tell his feelings, might imagine that he might still have chance if you don’t decline him well. When this type of men ask you out, it’s best to tell him that there is some other guy in your life.

You can tell a shy man that there is no chance for him by saying: “I’m sorry but I have a boyfriend” or “I like this guy right now, and we might go out soon”.

Because shy and quiet men have less contact with other women and take more time to like someone, it’s possible that he might keep having feeling for you after you declined.

Therefore you should not tell him: “I am glad but I can’t go out with you right now” or “I like you too, but I don’t have any time right now.” Instead you should tell him clearly that there is no possibility for you to go out with him.

If you decline a narcissistic man

There must be at least one man who is narcissistic around you ? he thinks he is good looking and cool. If you decline this kind of man, you should decline him without hurting his feelings.

Because a narcissistic man thinks he is so cool asking out, so first you shouldn’t reject him right away.

You should tell him how happy you are that he asked you out by saying : “I am so happy that you like me” or “I feel honoured that you want to go out with me.” Then decline him by choosing your words that won’t hurt this feelings: “But I am not good enough for you” or “there are other women who suit you better than me.”

Because a narcissistic man thinks he is very attractive and thinks only about himself, so he will give up once he understand that it’s impossible for you to be with him. He has very high esteem of himself, so he doesn’t want to get hurt by asking you again. He will agree with you by saying: “I am hoping for your future happiness.”


We need a lot of courage to tell someone your feeling. If you can’t accept his feeling, you should decline differently depending on types of men, so that you won’t be misunderstood.

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