Can I get married again? Three keys for great step family

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We never think of breakup when we get married. It is really hard if we can’t build the relationship in the family. Divorce is really energy consuming regardless of the reasons.

While guys feel empty after breakup, many women feel divorce was very good. Women might be able to switch their mind quickly once decision is made.

That is why many people think about their next life rather than being tied to the past. Step family might be possible if they choose to get married again. If you have children….and your partner has children as well, situation would get more complicated.

There should be lots of things to overcome even if love exists after encounter. People live “give and take” which means they support each other. Nobody can live without support.

This means happiness can built up in step family as well if they support each other. There are three points for happiness!

You should not think how it should be

Don’t expect too much like “couple should be like this” or “family should be like this”. This is to avoid getting disappointed by expecting too much, but this is important not only for your partner but also for yourself.

You might feel betrayed by your partner if things did not go well as expected, but your partner would be confused if you create some images only by yourself. You would also get disappointed with you for not being able to do as expected.

For example, you have decided not to scold seriously but instead give care kindly. You had been careful not to get too emotional but you might get irritated and can’t stop scolding in a tough voice when your child did not hear you.

You might lose confidence with yourself for not being able to do as you decided. This kind of incorrect “attitude” and “decisions” can damage yourself, and you are keeping distance from happiness by yourself.

Don’t listen or speak roughly

It is important to create “relieving” atmosphere with him. You might know already if you have shared room with your partner before, but kindness and interference are totally different.

The things you did were actually unnecessary or your partner think you should have done some things additionally. Communication is face to face if you start your life only with him, but it is getting difficult to communicate with each of them if the number of family increases.

What if you are working…… so, second point is “don’t listen or speak roughly” so that you can use your limited time more efficiently. Relieving atmosphere might be the places where you don’t have to worry about being declined and can feel relieved.

Quality more than quantity! Create quality time for both of you

The third point is to make your own time with him. This is actually difficult and we tend to leave this later due to working, child rearing and housework……

However, it is husband’s job to tie up the family. This is because guys have more ability to unite the family. Women are said to have ability to support this. It shall depend on your sense for what, when and how you would support.

Women with good sense know “timing for speaking out and timing for being quiet” very well. The time with him is important to brush up that sense and know what he is requesting and if he knows your concerns.

It is difficult to spend long time with him, but you can open the door for happiness if you share quality time with him even if it is short.

Value the start of happiness……

If you are not confident to get married again and become step family, you should anyway increase time with him to discuss further. There is no point in getting married again if both of you can’t be happy.

But please don’t forget. Meeting someone who need you is already the start of happiness. How much can you make others happy in your life? You can make your partner happy by valuing his existence.

Please value him and his family which you have encountered and make good decision.

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